How to be a good listener (Luciana Triggiante)


ENTERING MOZAMBIQUE

Arriving in Mozambique for the first time, everything seems to be different: most of the roads are covered by clay, the houses are made by straw, the people are black, the drive of the car is on the left, the smell and noise are strong. 

When you enter in the Country, the more evident and widespread peculiarity is the presence of local people with the ability (or virtue) to be a good listener, an unusual character in the Western Countries. 

They always listen in silence, in a reverential way that often evokes a sense of embarrassment for the foreigners, causing the doubt that the conversation is completely understood. 

Nevertheless, when the journey is repeated more time, and you have more chances to stay with those people, you feel the importance of the silence, of the sense of respect that is the basis of their conscious learning. 

So in my latest trip to Mozambique, during the Christmas holidays, I tried to listen with my ears and my heart the people I met, and I am glad to introduce and to share the following considerations, which are the result of my personal experience spent in the few weeks in Quelimane. 

MARY GRACE AND THE PHOTOGRAPHS 

During a hot afternoon of late December I met Maria Grazia, an Italian volunteer who has been working for years in Mozambique, giving her time and her life for the local people offering a concrete support to the Dehonians Fathers. His activity is dealing with the management of the new local library: this is a project starter through the NGO “Mozambique Project” with the aim of contributing to the fight against the spread of 'AIDS through the dissemination of culture. 

Despite the high temperarute, May Grace hosted me in her small office without air conditioning, while cataloging new books arrived from Portugal. 

While remembering common experiences of the past, I was attravted by a beautiful book of animals, one of many publications full of pictures usually found in bookstores or libraries in Western Countries: that book seemed to be for me quite out of place and out of time in that place. 

Maria Grazia, however, explained to me the infinite value of that book and of those simple images for the local population, who are unaware of the existence of a penguin, of the colors of the feathers of a parrot or how many humps the camel has. ... 

She showed me other books of the same collection: pictures of trees, vehicles, human body, ... . Since young all of us have those images in the mind; here those pictures represent a life totally unknown and offer an unique opportunity to learn about the beauties of the world. 

Listening to Mary Grace, I wondered how many times those people are not able to understand what I say (dispite I speak in Portuguese) because they do not know the existnce of things that are obvious to me. 

It is common for me to hear in Italy “that the Africans are a people of inferior race and ignorant!”. 

Unfortunately the ignorance covers the 80% of the population in Mozambique, nevertheless the lack of basic culture was not by choice. Until 35 years ago the settlers preferred to limit the dissemination of culture among the local population: they thought that workers should only count to 10, just enough to know the number of the collected coconut trees; nowadays the multinationals inform the workers hove to send SMS or email, just for organize the shipping of the largest number of logs of ebony. 

Did you know that you can buy a mobile recharge in every street in Quelimane, but there is no any kiosk nor a library? 
I continue to listen and ... .. 

ANNA AND THE ACCOUNTING COURSE

Anna came back with me again to Mozambique this time. Anna is an Italian girl, who spent a month in Quelimane last August 2009 and had a good experience at “Casa Famiglia”. During her stay she was aware of the need of organizing an accounting corse inside the structure, after the recent death of Veronica (the secretary who was tragically killed in a car accident last July). Anna decided to make available her professional expertise, explaining simple concepts of accounting to the people working in the different areas of structure. Anna was feared not speak Portuguese and not be understood by the course participants would

After three days, however, she was very pleased for the attention received by the locals and the participants did not know how to thank her: why? Because the people learned the basic knowledge of accounting necessary to carry out the activity in a simple and clear way. 

When Anna was in Quelimane for the first time, she was a good listener and received the suggestions from Father Antonio and the leaders of the cooperative how to organize the corse which it should have been not a master in economics, as many of the participants of the course did not remember the multiplication tables and do not understand the value of the numbers they write. 

Thanks to those simple prerequisites, she implemented a work plan adapted to the individual sectors and the result was excellent. 
What can I say? 
Listen guys, listen .... 

ABEL AND HIV AIDS 
December 28, 2009, 8.15 am: The phone rings. 
"Alo" 
"Alo .... Abelmorreu ..." 
In this way I received the news about the loss of a valuable employee, coordinator of “Casa familia”. 
Abel Charles grew up with Father Antonio and spent his time working with Rosaria (the responsible of the refectory of St. Francis of Quelimane, died last August), always available to help others. 

He used to work at “Casa Familia” during the day and continue his studies in the evening. A nice young guy, always available to say hallo to everybody and very good at writing and singing new songs. Everything seemed to go on very well for him till the occurrence of the desease of the century, the HIV AIDS, that devoured him silently. 

Abel Charles was affected by HIV AIDS (in Mozambique "SIDA") two years ago, when I found him in his "palhotta" in December, lying on a mat, without the strength to move an arm. 

Thanks to the anti-retroviral drugs, a proper nutrition and the help of many people around him, Abel felt better and came back to work and was even able to record a new CD. 

Listening the words of his songs in his CD you feel the presence of his illness and his desire to warn the other young people against this desease that in Mozambique is still considered to be connected to magic ritual. 

Abel has never openly talked of HIV AIDS to anyone, but through the music he found the way to give a soft warning and a personal approach to combat this desease.

Listening to his songs you understand many aspects of Mozambique: the value of the family, the importance of the study, the desire of young people to contribute to the development of the country through the work, the respect for elders and traditions. In Mozambique every message which arrives through the music has a strong value: the music is among people all time of the life, on the road, at home, and is generally accompanied by dancing and drums which beat an involving rhythm. 

I stop and I think by myself: "Maybe, is the mutual listening the key for a better future?“

BENEDICT AND THE RAIN 

In my last evening in Quelimane, before going back to Maputo and then to Italy, I had the desire to meet Béndict as unfortunately I had no time to greet everyone during the three weeks of stay.

We met in the convent garden, and immediately we realized that neither distance nor time had weakened our empathy: he confessed me the fear that his father could be attacked by local people as it happened the previous year, because he is considerd responsible for "keeping the rain", ie for drought. 

In Mozambique, the water is very important and when it does not rain for months, people begin to argue that this is the fault of someone. Usually, people think that the drought is caused by older women or rich people, who according to the common mind, having a lot of goods and food, do not want that others reach their level of wealth and prefer that the others die for hunger. All this seems to be absurd, but it is the truth! 

Béndict's father and brothers are honest people who make their life throgh their work: the only difference between them and the others is that they learned how to manage their resources, collecting food in time expecialy for times of famine and crisis. 

But the people of the "bairro" (ie the district) do not think so. People say that his father is the responsible of the lack of rain. 

During the last drought the local witch doctor made magical rituals in front of the house of the father of Béndict and people started to damage the house till the arrival of the police and his children, just in time to save his life. The day after the rain came and everything became quiet again: but I wonder what it would have happened without the rain! 

Now in Quelimane it has not been raining for months and what it would have happened to the father of Béndict and other people unjustly accused of "keeping the rain"? 

Listening to this story I feel the goosebumps, but this is a typical example of the life in Mozambique, and volunteers have to live together with that reality every day, while are committed to promote the Christianity, the progress and the peace. 

I could go on for hours telling about stories like these, full of fascination and mystery, but I hope to achieve my goal: to give a short time to reflect together on the life in Mozambique, on the future and on the poverty with its multiple aspects. 

I think we should promote an action plan that, starting from an attentive listening, through the knowledge and the development of work, leads to the promotion of a truly human solidarity. 

From this basis we need to add the faith, without which any effort is vain: the faith, when deep, gives strength and courage for sharing God's love, in good and bad time, with everyone, poor, blacks and the patients .